Life is so weird.
Like it is actually so bizarre.
Life, especially within the music industry, can be even weird than just your general life.
While it is hard to fathom that, it is reality.
I have found myself at a lot of cool places lately: the Grammys, the CMTS, multiple red carpets, backstage with name after name, you name it.
I have also found myself in a classroom the very next day or at the restaurant I work at to pay my bills.
The transition periods seems nonexistent. The adrenaline seems never-ending. My body and brain do not know how to comprehend going from one of these places to the complete other.
This has caused a bit of an issue. This has caused a lot of anxiety. This has caused a lot of confusion. This has caused a lot of stress. This has caused several sicknesses. This has caused several sleepless nights. This has caused me to write this.
Having to dip your toe in so many different pools of water every day and having little to no smooth transition from one to the other is a lot. It feels like you are in purgatory and every once in a while you see the glimpse of life on one side. You get the glimpse and then immediately you are back to sitting there wondering how in the world you can be on a red carpet on a Sunday night with Taylor Swift and sitting in a classroom the next day with someone you have never met.
It is a lot to take in. It is a lot of emotions to have to work through.
Some people may find this mindset or issue to be a very entitled one. What could be so bad about being at all those places around all those people? You have nothing to complain about, Jenna.
I know I don’t. While one may see it as complaining and being ungrateful, another may see it as feeling deeply.
As someone who likes to take in every moment for what it is and its beauty, these events tend to stop me in my tracks a lot. The second those events are over, I go right back into work mode and keep on moving forward to the next thing. This is not healthy.
I put myself in such a position, maybe even a pedestal sometimes, when looking at the things I have been grateful enough to do. Immediately, I get knocked down from that pedestal and get to remember that life can humble you at any given moment.
Learning to be comfortable in how weird your life can be from one day to the next in this industry is key.
Just like talked about before, you have to know yourself so when moments like these come up, you will know where you stand without having lost yourself.
Coming back to reality is tough, but when you realize that either way you look at your life, it is all your reality, you can start to appreciate just how far you have come. You can start to see the improvement you have made and the steps you have taken. You can start to see the growth you couldn’t see before. You can start to finally see where you might fit in within this crazy industry we call our jobs.
It will all start to fall in place eventually. But you will have to feel weird first.
You will have to feel uncomfortable. You will have to feel unsteady. You will have to feel unstable. You will have to fall. You will have to get back up. You will have to cry. You will have to wipe the tears away.
Life is just that weird.