No, I am not talking about the Kelly Clarkson song.
I am talking about you.
Yup, you.
You are giving WAY too much of yourself away to others.
I am also talking to myself.
Lately, I have found myself being needed by someone, or multiple people at once, several times of the day. I am expected to complete a task, be somewhere, answer an email, phone call, or text, have a schedule, help someone, and make sure someone has someone to listen at all times of the day. By the time the day is over, the only person who has not been able to spend time with me is me.
I am left with nothing at the end of the day but someone who has let everyone else borrow whatever pieces she has left to share.
Every piece is someone else’s every second of the day.
You know you know this feeling. Feeling so helpless. Nothing can give. You are told, just like in this blog and so many others, that you need to make time for yourself, but you have made promises to people as well as yourself that you are supposed to be at this place at this time or that you would meet this person today to figure this out. While it is important to hold up your end of your bargains, you are failing to do so for yourself. Now, the nonexistent pieces of you have to pick up the slack, thus, allowing you to spiral further every day into a debt of energy and motivation and passion.
You are allowed to keep part of yourself for only yourself. Do not feel like you need to allow everyone else in either because you trust them or you need to be there for them. You can do that all while allowing yourself to be selfish even just a little bit.
No one is entitled to any part of you or your gift, no matter how much you decide to share of it with the world. You can always have security in what you choose to keep for yourself.
With that said, there is always a fine line. You have to make sure you are communicating that. You do not just stop at choosing what is yours and what is theirs. You have to make sure you know how you will communicate that, or they will never know, and it will only snowball.
This goes back to knowing yourself and your values. Even if someone says they know you better than you know yourself, they do not know whatever part you have chosen to keep for yourself. The only way they can know is if you make it clear what is theirs. You set boundaries. You create a balanced schedule between being social and being alone. Boundaries are a language in themselves.
You want these boundaries to be beneficial. You want them to creative positivity directly in your life and indirectly in someone else’s. By being honest with yourself of what you expect from others, you can further help others understand what they should expect as well.
While songwriting is very vulnerable lifestyle, sometimes, keeping a part of you to yourself in your songwriting can keep you closer than ever to it. You will feel connected with it. You will feel more in tune with it. You will feel more authentic in it.
It is so important to leave a spot for yourself at your own table. You are allowed to live for yourself. In fact, you should always be living for yourself in some sort of capacity.
Just remember to not be so generous all the time. You have to take care of you. Being selfish is necessary.
